About Spain

I realized that I never posted after my trip to the Jaen International Piano Competition in Jaen, Spain this past April. Here is a late account of my trip.

The travel the Spain (via train, plane, and bus) was going to take 22 hours. The day I was supposed to leave, I woke up early in the morning incredibly sick with fever, nausea, feeling like crud in general. I went straight to the doctor, who thought it might be my gall bladder and told me to cancel my trip or at the very least, postpone it a day. So I called the competition to ask if I could come a day late and just miss the opening drawing. They said that I would risk being disqualified.

I was forced to make the horrible decision of trying to travel for 22 hours while being sick as a dog, or cancel my trip altogether like the doctor said. For most people, the reasonable decision is to just cancel the trip. But I had worked SO hard for this competition, and I really felt like I was supposed to go. I packed as quickly as I could, and just hoped I wouldn't miss my plane.

The travel was pretty rough, but I made it. I went to the drawing of slots, (the 1st round, competitors performed on one of 3 days) and I was really hoping to go the last day so that I could recover fully. Nope...I drew a slot for the end of the 1st day.

By then, I was feeling a lot better, although not 100%. I pulled myself together, stepped onstage, and smiled hugely as I saw the full, applauding audience and the array of flags representing the different countries of the competitors. I performed a Bach Prelude and Fugue, a Chopin Etude, a Rachmaninoff Etude, and the Dutilleux Sonata. It went wonderfully, and I couldn't have been happier with my performance!

I thought I had a good shot of making it to round 2, but with 10 judges, nothing is certain. A couple of days later, I was bummed to find out that I didn't make it on. All that....for so little. Why had I gone? Looking at the big picture, I got to know some of the other competitors and made some friends, and I even got to talk to one of the judges (who told me he voted for me, as did some of the other judges, but a few judges thought one of my pieces was too fast!). This is part of it...the uncertainty, the subjectivity. But somehow, I love it all the same.

What's Next?

It has been a little while since I last posted, and things have been good, albeit a little quiet. I'm pursuing this piano career, uncertain of where it might take me next, and realizing more and more that success in this field requires a good deal of luck and a knack for self-promotion. I'm not the best at promoting myself, and I'm not sure if it's some sort of humility or just an underlying issue with self-confidence. Either way, I seem to pull through time and time again, somehow.

I'm just made up new CDs and I'm in the process of trying to send them out to concert series in hopes of getting some concerts lined up. You see, this is the first time in my recollection that I have not had something coming up next. I'm looking at a blank slate, with no scheduled concerts or competitions on the horizon. This does not mean that I'm quitting or that I'm in a state of hopelessness, it just means that I have to put forth more effort to do some of this self-promotion that I'm not very good at!

So far, I have sent out 1 CD to a concert series, and I have 1 more ready to go. This is not good enough. I really need to send out 40-100 CDs and hope that I might be able to get a handful of concerts lined up. Self-promotion...I didn't know what I was getting into when I started all this. Somehow, I thought that if I was naturally talented and worked hard, that concerts would fall into place for me. This is why people have managers. But for now, I'm my own manager. And that needs to suffice.