Dreams, and Dreams

The other night, I had a dream (or was it a nightmare?) that I was giving a solo concert, and I had a choice of two pianos -- one with a wonderful sound and action, the other stiff and horrible sounding. Of course, I chose the good piano, but every time I went to play, it started rolling away from me across the stage. (This sounds comical now, but it was quite distressing in dream-form!). After trying again and again to play the good piano, only to have it roll away, I realized that I would have to play on the horrible piano.

...Which brings me to something that I have yet to discuss here, but is perhaps one of the most frustrating obstacles as a concert pianist: Having to deal with whatever piano you have in a performance, whether good or horrendous! Sometimes, you'll get lucky and have a piano that has great sound and action, but all too often, you'll end up with some piano that doesn't project well, has a stiff action, has uneven registration, etc. And the sad part is, the majority the audience won't know if the problem is YOU or the PIANO, and the'll assume it's you! This is where violinists and other instrumentalists have a great advangage. In fact, in my dream above, I should have considered myself lucky to have even had a choice between two pianos, since all too often, venues just have one, and you're stuck with it! I always just try to adjust as best as possile, and make the best music I can with what I have, although I definitely have little bits of anxiety expressed in dreams like the one above.

But much more important than dreams at night, there's the other kind of dreams -- the big-picture dreams that every individual has, whether you realize them or not. Mine? To inspire people of all ages and walks of life with the life-changing power and beauty of music, through concertizing, teaching, playing in worship services, and probably other ways that I haven't thought of yet! Both types of dreams seems foggy and unclear at times, and both can be filled with anxiety or doubt. But happily, the big-picture dreams can become reality, and this is what I'm working for every day. This is what I'm doing with my life, because classical music is what I love, what I'm gifted for, and one thing I can't imagine living without.